Chapter 5

      Jayfeather heard all the cats leave from where they were watching him. His senses were spinning, but he tried hard to focus them and every now and then he could figure out what was going on.
      "How are you, Jayfeather?" He could barely make out what Cinderheart was saying.
      "How do you think I'm doing?" he miserably hissed.
      "You know what I'm asking you Jayfeather,"she sighed. "You can choose to cooperate or not."
      "Fine. I-I can't really tell where it hurts right now, I can't really focus on anything," he replied. It was true, the pain was so overwhelming it felt like his whole body was on fire. 
      "Yes, I know how that feels."Jayfeather never forgot how she had injured her hind leg very badly many moons ago. Then she spoke again, but not to him. "Firestar, can you get chervil and poppy seeds from my den? I mean Jayfeather's den." Cinderheart sounded confused when she realized she had called it her own den.
      "Does it make any difference?" he muttered but did so anyway.
      Jayfeather heard slightly, Firestar coming and dropping the herbs in front of Cinderheart. Then he had padded slightly away, and gazed at Jayfeather.
      "This will sting you more than it hurts right now, Jayfeather. Are you ready for me to put it on?" Jayfeather nodded, even though he didn't want to feel more pain than he already did. He would probably go unconscious again, anyway.
      Jayfeather squeezed his eyes tightly, waiting for unbearable pain.
      Jayfeather gasped as he felt Cinderheart spit the chervil onto his wound. It felt worse than he had expected. His whole body seemed to be burning.
     Then the pain in his side started to go down, and Jayfeather relaxed. "Better?" he made out of Cinderheart's voice.
      "Yes," he sighed. The pain was much less than it was before.
      "Now you should have some poppy seeds." Cinderheart darted away, probably to get a leaf. Then when she came back, she pushed the poppy seeds onto the leaf and slid it towards Jayfeather. "Here," she said.
      Jayfeather tried to lean over to lick them up but he felt a shooting pain in his side and moaned again. He fell back on his other side grunted unhappily.
     He could feel waves of guilt coming from Cinderheart as she watched him. "Oh, Jayfeather. I can't help you eat poppy seeds, you'll have to do that yourself."
      "I know," Jayfeather whispered. He knew there wasn't anything she could do to help, but he couldn't help feeling annoyed at her.
      He tried reaching over again, and when the pain came, he tried not to fall back down. But eventually he gave up and slumped back down. He sighed.
      "That was a good try," Cinderheart tried to encourage.
      "That was my best try," Jayfeather said in defeat. He never thought he would be defeated by a bunch of poppy seeds just out of reach.
      "Jayfeather..." she began, unsure.
      "Yeah?"
     "I...I know you and Leafpool are hiding something from me." Jayfeather stiffened. He didn't know how to get out of this now if she knew. Worse, Jayfeather heard Firestar straighten up when he heard her say that.
      "Jayfeather?" Cinderheart asked.
      "Oh, er..." Jayfeather didn't know what to say. "Um, if you really think so, then wait for Leafpool to come."
      "Leafpool's here!" Firestar announced. Jayfeather could tell Firestar wanted to know what was going on.
      Jayfeather heard Leafpool pad up next to him. "What happened?" she asked, alarmed.
      "Twolegs," he said blankly.
      "Leafpool," Cinderheart began, "I want to know what you and Jayfeather are hiding from me." Jayfeather felt Leafpool grow more alarmed, and sensed her glance at him for a moment.
      "Er..."
      "I'm not leaving until I find out what it is."
      Leafpool obviously was not going to help, so he began. "You know about the medicine cat before Leafpool, named Cinderpelt?"
       Cinderheart nodded. "I heard she died saving my mother and my littermates."
     "Well... you're her." Jayfeather couldn't think of any better way to tell her.
     There was a moment of complete silence except for the rustling of the trees before Cinderheart "I know it's hard to believe, but Starclan showed me myself. I could hardly believe it when I first found out," Leafpool took over.
      Firestar padded over and looked at Cinderheart. Jayfeather could sense him looking at her with new respect in his eyes. "Is this true?" he asked, looking back at Leafpool, who nodded. "Do you remember anything about her?"
      "I keep having visions of being hit on a Thunderpath by a Twoleg monster, and oh! You were my mentor, right?"
      "You were?" Jayfeather asked Firestar, surprised. He had thought Yellowfang had been Cinderpelt's mentor.
Firestar nodded. "I was a new warrior then, not even deputy yet." Jayfeather heard him turn towards himself.    "Cinderpelt became a medicine cat only because she was injured and could not be a warrior after that. I was her mentor until then."
      "Oh," Jayfeather sighed, then laid his head down again, exhausted.
      "How are you feeling?" Cinderheart asked.
      "Better, I guess. It would have been better if nothing happened at all, but-" Jayfeather was cut off by Leafpool.
      "Don't think about that, Jayfeather. Just think about what's going to happen next."
      "I think that you'll leave me in peace next, Leafpool," he hissed. Along with Lionblaze, he had never really forgiven her.
      Leafpool seemed taken aback, and Jayfeather felt a little guilty. Se had been his mentor after all, and he sometimes wished she still was when he was a little nervous about what to do. "O-okay," she said and walked away. Jayfeather heard her walk to the warriors den and sensed her speak to Lionblaze. Lionblaze had also glared at her, then come to see Jayfeather.
      "I don't know why everyone's making such a fuss about me. Honestly, I'm fine." Jayfeather tried to explain again.
      "You were dead until Brightheart saved you! You're lucky our patrol came back before it was too late!" Jayfeather flinched at Lionblaze's harsh and angry words.
      "Cinderheart, Firestar, I would like to speak to Lionblaze alone." Jayfeather tried his best to make his voice calm, but made sure there was coldness in it as well. Lionblaze should know that he was not going to just fall below him.
      "Okay, call me if you need anything," Cinderheart said while Firestar nodded, and the two of the walked off together.
      "Lionblaze-"
      "Don't try to talk me into believing anything!" His brother's voice sounded like a blazing fire. "You keep trying to act like you can do everything!" He quieted a little, but not much. "Forget acting. Give it up. Because it's not true. You're blind." Lionblaze leaned in to stay that last part.
      Jayfeather pulled himself onto his paws, aware of the throbbing pain. He wanted to sound angry, but he was shocked. His voice was shaky. "Lionblaze," he began, "I-I thought you were my brother. I thought you saw beyond my being blind. And even if it wasn't like that in the beginning, I thought it had changed once I told you both about the prophecy." Jayfeather drew in another shaky breath. "From this moment on and for all time to come, I say with Starclan as witness, that I do not consider you my brother anymore. Do not try to come in my life at all. Forget about the prophecy we once shared because we no longer need it."
     He knew his slower, steadier words had had much more effect than Lionblaze's angry ones. They were true, though. Jayfeather felt betrayed by the way he appeared to his ex-brother. Jayfeather hoped he wouldn't regret today's conversation.
      Jayfeather heard Lionblaze take a few steps back. Then he snarled, "Fine, if this is what you want, then this is what it will be."
      Jayfeather didn't reply. He didn't need to. Both of them agreed to stay away from each other. Then why did he feel disappointed? Had he really expected such an ambitious cat to beg for forgiveness? Well, if Lionblaze was waiting for him to, then he would have to wait a long time.